pardon me my good
filed under: jokes I never got as a child that makes me cry tears of laughter
so in LOTR’s appendices it says that legolas eventually builds a boat and takes gimli across the seas and into the west, the gray havens. you know, the place arwen isn’t allowed to go because she’s in love with a human dude bUT LEGOLAS (AKA ‘YOU LITTLE SHIT’) JUST SAYS “FUCK IT” AND SNEAKS GIMLI INTO THE GODDAMN UNDYING LANDS LIKE CONTRABAND TWIZZLERS INTO A MOVIE THEATER
best literary analysis ever
TODAY IN BIOLOGY CLASS WE LEARNED THAT WHEN YOU MOW THE GRASS THE BLADES RELEASE A CHEMICAL THAT MAKES THAT GLORIOUS SMELL BUT THE REASON WHY THEY RELEASE THE CHEMICAL IS TO WARN OTHER GRASS BLADES OF DANGER SO WHEN WE SMELL THE FRESHLY CUT GRASS SMELL IT’S NOT JUST A GOOD SMELL IT’S THE SMELL OF THE BLOOD AND SCREAMS FOR HELP OF THOUSANDS OF GRASS BLADES
ok they going to warn the grass and then what ? explain how the other grass will run away from the lawmower ?